“Speak to their parents on a Friday night. They will have the time to listen properly and ask questions. The child will then have to hear about it from their parents for the whole weekend. I guarantee they won’t do it again”.
Speak on a phone on Freepik.com
That was the sage advice given to me by an incredible vice principal at my second school. It put into perspective the potentially powerful impact of calls home to parents.
Before this happened I had viewed calls home as a necessary evil. A task that had to be made, on occasion, in line with the school policy. I didn’t believe that parents cared what I had to say. I didn’t believe that they would follow through and discuss the incidents with their children.
People on speaking on the phone at Freepik.com
When do I speak to parents?
As above, ideally on a Friday afternoon, but if the call is time sensitive as soon as possible on the same day after school.
The end of the day is the best time because your teaching day is over, you are not likely to be distracted by pupils or other teachers. You also don’t have the time constraints of having to be somewhere or do something like you would during the school day. You can therefore be more present and engaged while on the call.
Where do I speak to parents?
Make sure you find a private room with a door that closes and is quiet / sound proof. You want to be able to hear and be heard clearly as you may have to impart sensitive information. It can be awkward to the point of being unprofessional if there are frequent requests to repeat / spell / clarify something. Use the school landline phone so they can see before they pick up that it is a call from the school. If that is not possible use your mobile phone but block your number first (please double check this).
What do I say to parents?
They key here is to keep it short and sweet.
Ask if they are the parent / carer for the child using their title and surname and wish them a good afternoon / evening.
Introduce yourself using your title and surname and the subject you teach the child. State the lesson (day and time) you are ringing about and apologise for the fact that the call is negative. Then state the specific thing that they child did to get the sanction.
I have a habit of making a short story long so I “script” my calls in advance to ensure that I keep the conversation contained.
Remember that the parent is more likely to listen and be supportive of the call if your focus is the impact on their ability to thrive academically rather than just their behaviour being unacceptable.
How do I say it to parents?
When relaying the specific thing that the child did wrong, centre it around how this affects their learning. Don’t say “Johnny didn’t do his homework so he has to be more organised”. Instead say “Johnny didn’t do his homework so he was not able to take part in the first half of today’s lesson.
Child had to be removed due to using disrespectful language? The real issue is that they were out of the room during a pivotal discussion that will mean that next lesson they will not understand the test.
Child was throwing stationery across the room? The real issue is that when you asked them to explain a concept that the class was discussing they had no idea what to say.
And so on and so forth.
Make sure that you are factual and do not offer opinions. For example, “he was chatting to his neighbour about last night’s football match and not the properties of metals” not “he was chatting to his neighbour about last night’s football match and he doesn’t like to work in science lessons”. You get the gist.
You can then tell them the consequences that have been issued – what are they (30 mins) and when will they be implemented (tomorrow after school).
Ask them if they have any questions and then thank them for their time and their support.
You will feel like a talking robot the first few times you call home. It is important to have your own version of a script so you do not veer off and get drawn into long ponderous circular discussions or negotiations.
Phew. All done?
Not yet. Make sure that you log the call immediately. I am a scatter brain and I’m very good at forgetting. In some schools all communications have to be logged. I would recommend that even if it is not mandated you also do this in your early years of teaching. I can guarantee that you will forget what you did / didn’t say to a parent – this way you don’t have to rely on your memory.
Log the call on the school MIS reporting system. A lot of what you need will be automated on on drop down menu. Log the day, time, parent name, reason for the call, outcome of the call and any next steps, for example, the child will ensure they bring a calculator to all lessons.
Also make sure that any administration is done immediately. For example, an email to the head of department to inform them that the parent would like a call back from them.
Anything else?
I know that it’s extremely unlikely but you should always behave like the call is being recorded for your mentor to review.
This is a great way of ensuring that you keep it short, specific and professional.
You are relaying information regarding the child’s conduct not seeking their opinion or permission about the sanction issued.
In the very rare instance that the call can become contentious, and the parent is not supportive, your best bet is to end the call and seek the support of a more senior teacher.
And if they don’t pick up?
Check your school’s policy but it should be okay to leave a succinct voicemail. End it by repeating who you are, what you teach their child and that they can ring the school if they would like to have a call back.
You could also send them an email outlining the reason and the sanction. Also tell them that you would be happy to ring them to explain in more detail.
Speaking positively on Freepik.com
Great. All done!
Not quite. Calls home should also be about positive things.
Try to remember to follow up the negative call with a positive call home a couple of weeks later. Even if the improvement you are witnessing is miniscule the parent will be very happy to hear it.
This shows the parents that you notice all things – positive, negative and indifferent. You’re not just the voice of doom relishing in spreading bad news. You are also able to see and celebrate in their child’s successes. This is guaranteed to be a well-received call when you speak to parents.
